Toxic (Not The Hit Single By Britney Spears)
December 17, 2021
As children we dream of fairy tales; we picture ourselves in the perfect Disney relationship and fantasize about our future partner. We never think about what would happen if we were in a toxic relationship or what it would even look like. We’ve grown up with the idea that relationships should be perfect and that we’ll all find the perfect person, when in reality even healthy relationships have problems. This mindset has set a blurry picture of what a relationship should be like, ending up with people not even recognizing that they are in a toxic relationship. So here are a few ways to recognize whether or not a relationship is toxic or healthy.
Communication
In a healthy relationship there should be communication. With communication comes trust and honesty because you feel safe communicating what you need to. If you feel like you can’t communicate, slowly lying and not saying what needs to be said creeps in. Jadyn, a junior at SPASH, says: “And if there’s something that’s bothering you, you have to tell the other person.” Ignoring a problem doesn’t make it go away, especially in a relationship.
Honesty
Honesty is the next biggest thing in a relationship. You have to be honest with your partner and with yourself. If you start to see warning signs and red flags from your partner you need to be honest with yourself and recognize that these genuinely are red flags. A study was commissioned by Liz Clairbone inc. and Family Violence Prevention Fund showing that 1 in young people will be in an abusive or unhealthy relationship. Some people will make it through life without being in an unhealthy relationship, but still a large percentage will experience an abusive relationship. That’s why recognizing red flags early on is important. And on top of that, having you and your partner being honest and open with yourselves strengthens a relationship. It shows that, even if your relationship is messy or not, you have the maturity and trust to be honest and not lie.
Another thing to make sure of in a relationship is that both people in the relationship are mentally and emotionally healthy enough to provide for the other. Mental health is a big part of our lives, and it’s no different in relationships. When even one person in a relationship has bad mental health it affects anything and everything in that relationship, including the other person. “It’s important to recognize if your partner is healthy or not because that can affect the whole relationship.” says Jayden.
When a partner isn’t mentally healthy they can become toxic and manipulative. They might not even know what they’re doing, but it’s important to give yourself space from those relationships regardless. Jaiden Animations is a youtube creator who made a video titled “Things about relationships I wish someone told me about”. It’s a really great video that shows how you are not responsible for other people’s mental health. In it she says: “Mental illness doesn’t negate their responsibility to maintain a healthy relationship.” Mental health does affect people everyday, but it isn’t a pass to treat another person like dirt.
Honesty, trust, and communication all go hand in hand with having a good, healthy relationship. And learning to implant these things in your relationship can make the relationship stronger and be smoother. Relationships may not be perfect, but they don’t have to be mentally and emotionally draining.
Kaitlyn Lohr • Dec 17, 2021 at 1:30 PM
Nora – I love this article topic, the title, and the content! This is such an important subject, and it’s amazing that you incorporated the fact that the victim is not the one at fault.
Caitlin Wanichek • Dec 17, 2021 at 1:27 PM
I loved the title. I like how you also have lots of different sources. I think you picked a very good topic that many people here at SPASH could really use. You also had a good conclusion that wrapped it all up nicely.
McKenzie Bierman • Dec 17, 2021 at 1:25 PM
Nora, I loved that you used headers to help show what you were going to be talking about. I also loved how you explained in your introduction what you were going to be talking about. I thought that the warning signs you put in were a great idea to also let others know what to look out for.
Tayler • Dec 17, 2021 at 1:24 PM
Nora, I really like your title, it was very creative and meant to be kind of funny, your introduction was very attention grabbing and your headings were very helpful too. I liked how organized and laid out your article was. Really great article!
Grace • Dec 17, 2021 at 12:27 PM
Nora, I LOVE how you had a wide variety of sources and didn’t just focus around one or two main. Your conclusion was another thing that was done really strongly and it reassured the reader and made them feel like they learned something from reading this article that they may even use in real life experiences.
Montana Zdroik • Dec 17, 2021 at 8:15 AM
Nora, I really liked how the article was organized. The topic was very informative, and I think a lot of people at SPASH could benefit from it. The hook was very relatable. The flow of the article made it easy to understand and read. The conclusion was really good and matched the tone of the whole article.
Dylan Nagorski • Dec 17, 2021 at 8:07 AM
I liked how the paragraphs where clear and we could tell what was being talked about. I think more people need to know about what it takes to identify if its toxic or not. More people need to know what it is like for a good relationship.
Belle • Dec 17, 2021 at 8:03 AM
I like how you wrote about how we all wished that we had a ‘fatiy tale’ relationship and that not all relationships are how we wanted them to be when we were kids. Another thing that I liked was that you put in a statistic and that you got the way a student feels about the subject.