By MARYANN SILVA

The Mirror reporter

The stigma of a divorce doesn’t have one dimension. The question is how do most people view it?

Unhealthy relationships can have an effect on the household. If you have kids and constantly argue that can have a major impact on everyone including the way your children develop.

The six major reasons for divorce are infidelity, money problems, addictions, extraordinary situations such as incapability, and irreconcilable differences.

If you have children can those reasons affect their life?

Yes!

Some of the negative divorce consequences are due to the transition a child has to make between a two home family, financial custody and emotional support.

Bad divorces have an effect on a child’s school performances and result in low school grades and aggressive behavior with their peers. In many cases, teenage children even drop out of school and get into drugs.

It has also been studied that these negative effects are more evident in boys than in girls. Boys tend to have greater issues when dealing with broken homes. They reflect more aggressive behavior and are less focused in school, resulting in fights with peers. Girls, on the other hand, exhibit higher rates of depression which hinder their concentration level at school.

Most “pro-marriage” factions will try to tell you that divorce hurts children. I personally think that divorce can really be the best thing for a couple in an unhealthy relationship.

Robert Emery, Ph.D., who wrote, The Truth About Children and Divorce, does an excellent job comparing  the two extremist views about whether divorce does or doesn’t harm children and says “the truth is somewhere in the middle.” He goes on to say that, in cases where the parents do argue often, divorce can actually be a relief to the children because they no longer have to live with all the tension they had experienced.

Children are much smarter than people give them credit for, particularly when it comes to feeling the effects of the emotions surrounding them. Your kids will easily be able to tell when you and your spouse are unhappy, and the last thing you will want is for them to think they should settle for anything less than happiness.

No matter how you see it, strenuous relationships are huge causes of deteriorating health. A bad relationship can become incredibly stressful, and there is only so much stress that your body can take. In fact, dealing with chronic stress can result in premature aging, cancer, heart disease, and death. Therefore, it is important that you keep your mind healthy, then you can make sure your body is healthy as well.

Divorce will equip you with phenomenal coping skills which will prepare you for many different situations in the future. You will finally have a strong understanding of what you need in life, how much pain you can handle, and how to avoid toxic relationships.

I’m not saying that divorce is something you should strive for when you plan to get married but people tend to just jump into things right away without getting to know the person they choose to marry.

Take a big step back when it comes to marriage. It’s a lifelong commitment that requires you to be 100 percent on board with when trying to complete it. Divorce rates are very high and really makes this day and age look really bad and causes people to lose a lot of hope when it comes to wanting to eventually get married.

Always, before you choose to have kids make sure, make sure your relationship is solid. I know that problems will come up and eventually life will change but before you give up do everything in your power to fix the relationship. If that doesn’t work, then it is OKAY to get a divorce.