Things that Ache my Heart

Mai Xee Yang

My heart itches when I picked up a broken flower stem

I wanted to itch it so bad but all I could do was shake it off.


I smell burning all the way from the living room

I flash like a strike of lightning to the kitchen counter

Rumbling noise screaming all around the house

All I just wanted to save was my toast.

I didn’t make it in time. 

My bread was way too exposed to heat.

Maybe it was never meant to be.

Cause all I see was death inside of a charbroiled bread.


Here I am, driving on the road focusing like a M4 scope zooming in and out.

Out of nowhere, a squirrel came sprinting in front of my car.

I couldn’t brake in time.

In a heartbeat, 

I’m screaming,

I’m covering my mouth,

I’m panicking,

My heart is sweating.

The thumping from my chest grew to my brain.

I thought I was going to jail

Turns out, it was just a daily fail.



That name is rushing through my veins.

That name is a stain in my heart,

As if a dart left a mark on that special part.

It itches,

It tangles,

But I know it can’t be removable.


Grandma I see you sleeping in beauty.

My heart feels as if I’ve fallen into a cactus and punctures a million times over by tiny pins.

It stings,

But now it has left me numb.

I am not bleeding,

But I know after I slowly pull myself out one by one,

The blood from my body will come gushing out of my eyes.


I am watering you everyday and night.

Why do you still look like the first day I plot you here?

You are making my brain go Tic-Tac-Toe.

If you don’t grow, 

I will give you a throw.


It has been decades since you’ve been here,

And all I have done is nothing but a stare.

I knew you weren’t going to mature.

I knew you don’t belong here,

But in nature.